Lifegroup = Awesome

So today we finally all got together and had worship at my house! I honestly didn’t want to do it. I found a few ways out of it before and then really couldn’t delay it anymore today. to say the least it was amazing! didnt know my guitar was capable of such awesomeness! I’ve really felt God working in my life for the first time in a few months!

I had started a small story about the pain of Jesus, and what he really went through on the cross. I praise Jesus in song but I know that I have no idea what he really did for me. So I’m trying to paint that picture in writing and hopefully he will help me seek him.

I HATE THAT!

So there I am just walking through the city jamming out to my ipod, the thought that I might miss my train the the back of my head, I make eye contact with someone on the sidewalk. Before they open their mouth I know what they’re going to say. “can I have money?”, or something like that. today the guy asked for  money for a pass. What I COULD have done is stopped. Offered to buy him a pass to somewhere and talk to the guy. Maybe he would just brush me off when he would realize that I wasn’t actually going to give him money. If saying he needed it for the train was just a cover for him to buy drugs or booze.

What I actually did was walk faster, turn up my ipod and act like everyother person on the sidewalk. Wow great christian life you live! I love how even when I was convicted of being a fool, and realized exactly what I could do 20 seconds later. I chose to just continue as the train might almost leave! Forget the train, I gotta be more willing to drop what I got to tell people about Jesus.

Bad Decisions

Its funny how we act a certain way and dont realize that we’re actually doing it. I’ve come to rely more on myself the last few days rather than relying on God. What if I totally relied on God? Life would be a lot easier thats for sure! Stress would be non existent and maybe even sin would disappear. Unfortunately this is not a perfect world, and my faith isnt where is should be. When I try to take my burdens into my own hands I only screw it up. The devil even helps remind me that I am screwing it up and that I need to just strive after worldly things, then I will finally achieve whatever it is I’m going for.

When The best decision that can be made is to jsut be obedient to Christ. I’ve become reluctant to do a lot of things because of what could happen. So I avoid confrontation at all costs. I’m such a wuss in that regard. I really need to come through to my brother and have a talk. But, I just avoid it. Not a good idea. There are other things too.

Why do I worry about things? How stupid is it to worry anyways? Jesus even says that to us too basically:

hen Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? ”Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them.But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.

 ”Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

This passage has meant to much to me in the last year. I keep getting away from it then end up running right back. Jesus is always here for us. Always looking out for us. Pary about things, make God part of your life. Life Righteously and if things go wrong, that sucks. But don’t spend your life crying about it. You still got Jesus! Hes still looking out for you no matter what you did! so stop wasting your time worrying

Lists

I make lists for myself all the time. Things wont get done if they arent put on a list. I write down things to remind me, in case I forget, then end up relying on lists more and more to tell me what to do in my life. If I ignore what is on my list I feel like I’m slacking, Something needs attention and I’m ignoring it. Luckily most things on my list can wait.

Although I realized that God is on my lists. I try to pencil him in. So when I pay my rent tomorrow and meet for lifegroup I want to get some good ole bible-one on one time with God. Its on my mental list. Although, Should it be? If it was something I really wanted to do why would I need to write it down to remember? Thats like writing down a reminder to make your spouse happy. If you need a reminder then you’ve missed the point. If it takes you reading a daily planner for you to realize that you would want to do something nice for your spouse, then your not sincere. If they knew that you had to write a reminder down, then they would feel much differently. In the same way is our relationship with God. He should have access to my entire day. His time should be as long or as short as it needs to be.

I’ve been talking about how i missed the consistency of the long train ride and that I felt closer to God then…wow. Sure thats a great window of time for reading and seeking God, but thats not the whole deal. I would still struggle to read on weekends! Being intentional about seeking God and asking him hard questions throughout the day is how it should look. I think that when your always open, everyday to God’s word at different times of the day is a great way to not become stagnant.

I’ve made a number of lists in my walk. Trying to drill down the key points on a relationship with God, but thats the problem: it’s always changing. God created the oceans and the stars; his splendor cannot be summarized in bullet points.

Thank you Donald Miller for your books and for inspiring me to think about what I accept daily