I want to GO…but where?

So life is interesting right now. I know I want to live my life for God, Doing his work but I don’t know exactly what. Its taken me a few months to lose my attachments to myself and the life I’m in but I think I’m ready. Maybe I should start small, like another Alabama. It sucks that life is so hard when you owe so much money. I need to pray about that because I want to go out and help others. Then again its not like I need to move really far away or something. Boston has plenty of opportuinities for me to help and lead others to Christ.

It feels good to feel excited to do work for God again. I went to Alabama, looking for that but I was still operating with a hard heart towards life. For some reason that I really don’t know. I feel much more liberated right now and I really can’t tell you why. I’m looking within to figure that out but I don’t want to dwell on it. I gotta get out of my comfort zone and live for others over myself.

So getting back to the thesis of this post. Life is good. I don’t know where/what I’m going to do but I’ve thrown a few irons in the fire so to speak!

Why does life get Mundane?

It’s funny how we can get so used to our lives and the mundane. Like the fact that we are alive doesnt become a cause for celebration. Life is pretty fragile, there isnt much of a line between life and death, it can come quickly We need to live our lives purposefully while we still have time. One of my biggest regrets is to get to the end of my life and wishing I had done something. I think that’s why when I let opportunities pass I get so frustrated. Why act lazy? Why are we so sure we are going to have another chance to do whatever it is?

I saw a guy in a subway today and he was soaked, sitting there drying his stuff off, obviously having a bad day. I went to starbucks, read a book for a while, bought the book and walked by him again. I think if I had stopped asked if I could buy that dude a coffee or something I would have made his day. Those are the type of things I’m talking about. Nobody goes to sleep sad saying “gee I helped too many people today”. That seems to be the life worth living to me.

So wake up and be happy its raining. You think therefore you are! Smile in the sunshine and do what makes you happy

Me and John Adams

So I’ve rediscovered how much I love to read great books. Nothing is worse than trying to connect with an author or feign interest in something that you really don’t care about. I bought 1776 about a year ago thinking it was cool because I love history. It took me that long to open the book, yet once I finally tried to read it the pages flew through my hand like wildfire and I found myself in my room last night around 9, having finished 1776 looking for more information on people of the Revolution. Sitting on my shelf is the modest 700 page epic about John Adams by the same author. I opened it and I’m hooked!

Ephesians 5

Yeah so this whole chapter is for the win. In a time when I’m really looking critically at myself it just stares at me with all the answers. It’s funny a friend in Alabama and I were talking about how our walks can be very up and down and he talked about Ephesians(primarily 5) about how it’s really a great place to go when your searching. I’ve also found James to be one of the most inspirational books for me as well.
What really hits me tonight is:
Ephesians 5:14-17

“wake up of sleeper,
rise from the dead
and Christ will Shine on you”

Be careful how you live- not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery.Instead be filled with the spirit.

I’ve let my faith go from something that radically defined me and molded me into a much different person than I was before to someone who is just going through the motions. When following Christ closely drinking heavily just seemed dumb…the further I got the greater it seemed yet that really seemed to put me further “asleep” as v.14 hints. Nothing good comes from being drunk and usually leaves me with serious regrets the next day, it’s a terrible way to witness to people. So that’s that moderation and the spirit for this guy

Getting Close

I’ve never really believed in Spiritual attack or anything like that. I’ve never really given much thought to the devil, but considering how the last month has been going I’m starting to get it.
I’m trying to get through it though, my reading has really taken a hit the last few months and I’m starting to get back on track. I even finished a book yesterday which really encouraged me.  I used to spend lots of time blogging in the past and am just now getting excited about it again.

I’m trying to get back to basics. While reading "The Importance of Being Foolish" by Brennan Manning yesterday I realized that I need to spend more time with God, like Jesus did. That might be the main thing that I’m supposed to figure out. That if I want to be close to Jesus, I gotta make the first step sometimes!

Bama

wow thanks for blowing my mind!

Borrowing

giving and borrowing…is there a difference? if you let sdomeone borrow something is that not the same as giving?

Stand for what is right

So I was out at the common on saturday for the homeless ministry. I met Leigh around 10am and we took the red line so that he could warm up a bit as we was cold from being outside all morning. I had felt that our relationship wasn’t really healthy, in that he was hoping to get things that he needed, like money from me. I’ve been able to meet some of his needs but I can’t enable everything. I was very convicted of this a few weeks ago, when I realized I need to try and help everyone out. As weird as it sounds I felt like i was doign too much for one person. I was able to tell him that I couldn’t help him out(and I really can’t) and it was pretty cool, he was fine and invited me to come to his church service the next day which I did. So I was glad that God taught me a lesson, to help in ways that I can but if you give all of yourself to one person you’re limiting the amount of good you can do.

I was talking with some guys there when something really caught my eye. I saw a girl talking to a guy, who was obviously drunk, alone. Not to be sexist or anything but Girls should’nt be alone when talking with some of these people. I think sometimes they forget that Homeless Ministry isnt on gordon’s campus, these people aren’t all christians. So even though we are called to help and minister to them, we need to also put on the Armor of God(a shout out to my buddy Pie from the Common). We need to be there in aims of preaching the Gospel but need to be smart about it. I know this girl meant to try and get through to this guy that she cared for his well being but he was soo drunk that he really wasnt a rational person anymore…which is dangerous. He was getting kinda close and hugging her which I think I should have broken up long before it actually put me over the edge. Luckily I was able to get there and engage him in conversation, which is the way I think it should be. It sounds bad but drunk people are unpredictable…you want to preach to gospel but it might be hard for some to hear. If they try anything for some reason I want it to be to me and not someone else.

I’m glad that I acted and helped fix that situation, but I wish I did it sooner. Luckily nothing bad happened and I know for in the future how I can act to avoid situations like that in the future.

who is evan?

Who Do I want people to remember after I’m gone?

Thats a question I thought of that sobered me right up one night. My grandfather passed away a year and a half ago(wow cant believe it was that long ago) and all we could do was talk about all the great things he had done, the one thing that never came up was his faith. I wasn’t even a christian at the time, but I thought about it. He never really talked about it. The pastor at the funeral consoled me a bit by speaking of the many encounters he had with my grandfather and how he was regarded as a man of considerable faith. Unfortunately I never knew that meant so much to him. I wish we could have had those conversations!

So getting to the point of this post: what do I want people to think of when I’m gone. The answer is clear: Jesus. I need to start now, trying to live a life of love that echoes his. I need to not be timid in social situations where he can be given some props. I’m going to fall short and already have many times, at following Jesus, But thats what I want is for people to know that, Evan loved people and he surely loved Jesus, because really, what else matters in this world?

Bible and finance

I just read a news article about how more and more people are turning to “evangelical financial advisers” for financial advice. I really don’t get what people are reading when they see that God wants you to be rich. Honestly, if your to the point where you are consulting a financial adviser you’re rich! Maybe you’re not rich by the standards of our society, but in the world you’re loaded. God does tell us to “be Fruitful”, one way that people might take as, “amass as much wealth as you can” but last night I just read the story of the rich man who asks Jesus how he can attain eternal life. He has been faithful in every way. Yet when Jesus tells him to give his possessions away he turns away sadly because he’s rich and thats the one thing hes holding on to. The one thing! This guy has done everything (been good to his neighbors, honored his parents, loves God) but still has one thing in this world that he thinks God can’t provide for him. So his finances were done his way…Which makes me ask the question what are these advisers telling people?!

I’ve been praying a lot lately(not just about money) and God has convicted me most about money. I should use it more for him, I should be smart with my money, so that I waste less on stupid things for myself that I don’t need, and have extra for righteous causes. Terrible financial advice for me right now because I really have little that I can save for the future.  I’ll be paying off college till I’m 30 something, probably won’t own a house anytime soon, my car is a complete lemon. Yet God will provide for me.

I’ve realized that Money just causes so much distance between me and God. I’ve had opportunities where I can help a few people by buying them lunch, a T ticket or even shoes and I’ve just watch them pass. Lately I’ve met those, and provided for some people in need. Jesus says that if someone takes something from you, give them your cloak as well. We are told to provide for the needy, because we have been blessed by God. I’ll take that advice over any adviser any day